the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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