rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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