Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
