Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
