Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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