Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
