if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My breasts were aching with rage.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
