thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Randomize
