so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
