That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
