I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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