she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
