My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
