we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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