allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
