She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
