i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Someone came in the potted fern
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize