can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
