I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
