yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
