i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
