I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize