I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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