He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
