The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
