I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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