do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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