This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
