so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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