So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
