I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
