He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize