garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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