I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
