I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
