Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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