normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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