Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
