These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
