WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize