yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
if only i could text you this smell
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Green mimosas i think yes
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
