I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Boobs speak an international language.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
