I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
