I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
In America we eat man semen.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
