i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
can u get pink eye on your cock?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize