she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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