I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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