this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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