Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
