if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
