sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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