Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
