just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
