I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
