So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
