so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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