what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
