it hurts more in the daytime
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
