Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
