Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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