Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
