in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
