Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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