Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Alive.
So much puke
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
