she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
