I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
